Ha! No Sunday night blues for me tonight! On Friday afternoon I finished school and was able to leave almost immediately and enjoy my two week break.
Don't get me wrong, this didn't just fall upon my lap because I am so awesome. I had to stay late almost every day this week frantically correcting papers, entering grades, and putting together my report cards. On Thursday night at 6:45, I let out a loud "Whoo-hoo!!" to announce to the janitors that I was finished with my report cards. Too bad they were busily vaccuuming to relish in my great accomplishment. Oh, well, I would rub it in everyone's face the next morning at school.
Second quarter is thankfully one of the best quarters, littered with a week long fall break in the beginning, Veterens' Day, Thanksgiving break, and Christmas break. It's glorious! However, I felt like I was hardly at school this quarter. It was the start of my first trimester from you-know-where: I had a few doctor appointments, a three-day ELL conference, and I took a mini-vacation to San Diego with Casey. My students would ask me if I was going to be at school for the whole week and would groan when I would start my sentence with, "Wellll...."
Poor babies. Really, I felt terrible for not being there. I've always prided myself with being present at my job. It's far more annoying to put together sub plans than to just tough out a sick day, which I hardly ever was...although, I am guilty of a rare "mental health day," but who isn't?
From my out-of-character absenteeism and no energy after coming home, my stack of papers kept creeping higher and higher. Again, it wasn't like me to let this happen. I felt like a hoarder. My stack of papers was my embarassement and humiliation, but when I looked at it, it was almost too much. Where do I even start? Spelling tests? Vocabulary assessments? Writing was totally out of the question, way to overwhelming to pour over each paper. So there they sat, hidden in the corner of my room.
Then the email came from Ms. Sandy, the school's secretary. "School Master is open to enter your grades for report cards. Report cards are due to me on Monday, January 4th." OMG. I couldn't believe it, had I slacked the entire quarter only to find out the day we return from winter break I have to have everything properly graded and entered into the system? I never want to be the one that authority has to tsk, so I told Casey the last week of school not to expect me home until late each night. There was no way I was going to come in over my break and do this like so many other teachers were planning to do.
And I just did it. I sat there with my stack that started over mid-calf, I pulled out the easy things to grade and enter, then the things that take more time, then the writing, and finally reading centers. It took ten hours over a three-day period. But that Thursday night I was extremely proud of myself. I corrected things thoroughly, I entered them properly, and I even wrote very specific, positive, and constructive comments for each of my students. (This is actually a really big deal, there are some teachers that only write one or two sentences that are very generic. I always think about each child and their home..."How do I put this delicately?" is my ultimate question for those tough cases.)
Now I am happy. I am not worried. Bobby Ferron and I will sing his song together and I will have a huge smile on my face the entire time. I will listen to the Vikings as I type this, I will stay up late to watch some trashy shows on E!, and I will wait patiently for those sweet little kicks from Baby H. That's the only thing I want to worry about.
Did I learn my lesson? Maybe...sometimes these things happen and at least I know that I have a little fire in me to get the job done right, just not the way it probably should have been done!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I Remember When...
..exactly one year ago I received a text from my brother at one in the morning, telling me that Trena was in labor and was going to have the baby around five. I quickly called my mom and dad and sister so we could pray, pray, pray for a healthy delivery. We were so excited for our "first" to be born. Not even an hour later a picture message came through on my phone and the most beautiful image of sweet Colbie swaddled in her little bassonette filled my tiny phone screen. I screamed and woke up Casey (who let's be honest, was possibly still drunk from going to the Vikings/Cardinals game). I was officially an aunt!
I love that I was one of the first people to hold her, that I got to see her second diaper changed, and that from the start I knew she was perfect! Colbie has brought so much joy to our family and we love her!
Happy first birthday to a precious little doll!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
My First Sorority: Baby Baby Baby
Look, I'm writing again! I just needed to give myself that pat on the back! Now that I can openly talk about the belly that I was once hiding like a celebrity, I feel like I have so much to say but I can't think of it all!
Life has been good. Creating life has not been so easy. From week 6 until week 11, I don't even know the person that I was. I was taken over by an alien. Seriously. I don't even know how I got through the day. Let's be honest, some days I didn't without a long nap and a good cry. Despite the fact that I could sleep on command, every type of food made my skin crawl and I constantly felt like throwing up, but awesomely enough, I couldn't do it! There I would sit with that feeling always sitting in my stomach every day and every night. Then I would wake up every once in a while feeling normal and get really scared that something was wrong and pray that I would feel like poo, so at least I knew I was still pregnant. I didn't even know if that was normal, but apparently it is.
Which leads me into my next thought. Pregnancy probably has not changed since the beginning of time: most women feel icky, some do not, some babies survive, sadly, others do not. However, since my mother gave birth to me, she had to rely on faith that her little baby was okay and that God was in charge, she just had to do her best staying healthy. She had no ultrasound, no Downs Syndrome tests or Trisomy tests, and she certainly did not have the latest edition of What to Expect When You're Expecting to check to make sure it was normal when changes were taking place.
However, one thing is for certain when someone new is having a baby: you are invited into a sorority of women who have shared the same experience.
I. Am. Profoundly. Lucky.
I am surrounded and supported by the most beautiful people, and it's really not limited to those who have had children, either. Before getting pregnant, I had heard stories of other women having all sorts of issues with unsolicited advice being given, jealousy amongst family members and friends, or scary stories of pregnancy.
I can say that none of that has been true. Despite the fact that I felt super icky, which was no one's fault, just normal hormonal changes, I have had the most positive pregnancy. To start, the grandmas couldn't be more excited. To feel like we are giving a gift to two women who do so much for me and Casey is a wonderful feeling. My sister-in-law Trena and I are a month apart with our due dates. One would think that there may be animosity and spotlight stealing (as read and heard about before), however, there couldn't have been more joy. We are a support system for each other and I rely on her to answer those weird questions for me.
During this time, I have found out that a few other close friends are due with babies around the same time. Too cool. Again, another group of women to talk and laugh about those funny things going on "down there."
I have wonderful friends that have had children and are another place that I find new advice, baby items, and maternity clothes (thank you, Jenny, Heather and Trena!). Even my friends with no babies are so excited and will do anything to help. My sister-in-law, Steph, loves to talk about all the parts of pregnancy and babies and I couldn't love her more for her excitement to be an auntie!
My mom certainly did not have the internet when she was having her babies. It seems like I can google anything and someone has felt it, questioned it or experienced it. One place that was surprisingly not-so-supportive, yet set up to be the ultimate source of support for pregnant women, was the Baby Center website. It was the site that was recommended to me by a few formerly pregger ladies. It is great for getting the week-by-week information and little newsletter posts about how to eat, why we need to brush our teeth, etc. Then one day I looked at the posts that people write or ask questions about their pregnancy or raising their children. Some comments and questions were the same things that I thought about, too. I didn't leave comments, but I would read other people's opinions. Today I decided to look at my next week's baby information and looked at the current postings that others left. I was horrified to read the entries and comments that these mothers left about any subject. Many were very confrontational and accusational in their tone. It was horrifying to read! I even read some of them to Casey, who just shook his head. Yikes!
I decided that I was too lucky of a girl to get myself wrapped up in that drama. One of the first pieces of advice that was given to me was to avoid stress and stay positive. You know my sensitivity issues, so that did not seem like a place for me to get involved. I would take the important information that the site gave me and call up the women in my life, who I knew would give me a loving and supportive answer to my question when I had one. Some answers a book or a website can't give me, sometimes I just need a good friend, a sister, or a mother to reassure me that everything will be okay and if it's not, they will still be there, too. I wouldn't call that place a support system, what I have is a support system...the most rock solid, loving, supportive system a girl could have. You all make me say, "Yay for babies!"
Life has been good. Creating life has not been so easy. From week 6 until week 11, I don't even know the person that I was. I was taken over by an alien. Seriously. I don't even know how I got through the day. Let's be honest, some days I didn't without a long nap and a good cry. Despite the fact that I could sleep on command, every type of food made my skin crawl and I constantly felt like throwing up, but awesomely enough, I couldn't do it! There I would sit with that feeling always sitting in my stomach every day and every night. Then I would wake up every once in a while feeling normal and get really scared that something was wrong and pray that I would feel like poo, so at least I knew I was still pregnant. I didn't even know if that was normal, but apparently it is.
Which leads me into my next thought. Pregnancy probably has not changed since the beginning of time: most women feel icky, some do not, some babies survive, sadly, others do not. However, since my mother gave birth to me, she had to rely on faith that her little baby was okay and that God was in charge, she just had to do her best staying healthy. She had no ultrasound, no Downs Syndrome tests or Trisomy tests, and she certainly did not have the latest edition of What to Expect When You're Expecting to check to make sure it was normal when changes were taking place.
However, one thing is for certain when someone new is having a baby: you are invited into a sorority of women who have shared the same experience.
I. Am. Profoundly. Lucky.
I am surrounded and supported by the most beautiful people, and it's really not limited to those who have had children, either. Before getting pregnant, I had heard stories of other women having all sorts of issues with unsolicited advice being given, jealousy amongst family members and friends, or scary stories of pregnancy.
I can say that none of that has been true. Despite the fact that I felt super icky, which was no one's fault, just normal hormonal changes, I have had the most positive pregnancy. To start, the grandmas couldn't be more excited. To feel like we are giving a gift to two women who do so much for me and Casey is a wonderful feeling. My sister-in-law Trena and I are a month apart with our due dates. One would think that there may be animosity and spotlight stealing (as read and heard about before), however, there couldn't have been more joy. We are a support system for each other and I rely on her to answer those weird questions for me.
During this time, I have found out that a few other close friends are due with babies around the same time. Too cool. Again, another group of women to talk and laugh about those funny things going on "down there."
I have wonderful friends that have had children and are another place that I find new advice, baby items, and maternity clothes (thank you, Jenny, Heather and Trena!). Even my friends with no babies are so excited and will do anything to help. My sister-in-law, Steph, loves to talk about all the parts of pregnancy and babies and I couldn't love her more for her excitement to be an auntie!
My mom certainly did not have the internet when she was having her babies. It seems like I can google anything and someone has felt it, questioned it or experienced it. One place that was surprisingly not-so-supportive, yet set up to be the ultimate source of support for pregnant women, was the Baby Center website. It was the site that was recommended to me by a few formerly pregger ladies. It is great for getting the week-by-week information and little newsletter posts about how to eat, why we need to brush our teeth, etc. Then one day I looked at the posts that people write or ask questions about their pregnancy or raising their children. Some comments and questions were the same things that I thought about, too. I didn't leave comments, but I would read other people's opinions. Today I decided to look at my next week's baby information and looked at the current postings that others left. I was horrified to read the entries and comments that these mothers left about any subject. Many were very confrontational and accusational in their tone. It was horrifying to read! I even read some of them to Casey, who just shook his head. Yikes!
I decided that I was too lucky of a girl to get myself wrapped up in that drama. One of the first pieces of advice that was given to me was to avoid stress and stay positive. You know my sensitivity issues, so that did not seem like a place for me to get involved. I would take the important information that the site gave me and call up the women in my life, who I knew would give me a loving and supportive answer to my question when I had one. Some answers a book or a website can't give me, sometimes I just need a good friend, a sister, or a mother to reassure me that everything will be okay and if it's not, they will still be there, too. I wouldn't call that place a support system, what I have is a support system...the most rock solid, loving, supportive system a girl could have. You all make me say, "Yay for babies!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)