I just did something assertive, but it didn't make me feel empowered, I felt like the first three letters of that word. It was something that really needed to be addressed, but it didn't make it any easier.
So, glass half full side of me says, "Yea! I just got my oven fixed and now I can bake and cook things! No one's hurt or dead and I am still on summer vacation!"
The glass half empty person says, "That shouldn't have been a big mess like it was. It was a simple thing to get fixed and it wasted way too much of my time and energy."
I will back up a month, if you remember a previous post, my poor oven wasn't working and after my exploding grill, I put my foot down to get the darn thing fixed! I went on the internet and Googled appliance repair+Chandler, AZ. I found several companies in the area that seemed legit and called them all the next day. I found one that I thought would be a good deal and they were very friendly on the phone. I forgave them when they lost my appointment and was able to get over it when the repairman came the last fifteen minutes of the four hour window they gave me. It wasn't their fault when the cost of the repair was much more than we anticipated.
But when I was scheduling the appointment to get my oven fixed, this is where I felt I was getting jerked around. I called them and was told they would call me back, which they never did. When I called them the next day, they apologized for not calling, but said they would call me back in fifteen minutes. I'm sure it comes to no surprise when they didn't call. Six hours later, I called them, and they informed me they lost my invoice so they didn't know what I needed fixed. It was quite frustrating, because I felt roped into using their business, I had invested $89 for the repairman to come out, which would also go towards the cost of the repair. I let the owner know that I what I had been through, and he quickly put my appointment through and found a part close by so they could get their sooner. I appreciated the haste in which they were working, but had a feeling that it wasn't going to end well.
The repairman was supposed to come today between 1 and 4. I got up really early to work out, I quickly ran my errands, and came home to clean my house, especially the kitchen. I quickly took a shower and got ready and at 1:05 I was ready for him to come. I waited, and waited...and waited. Finally, at 3:45, I gave the company a call, because maybe I had written down the wrong date. But it was the right date and the repairman was running 30 minutes behind. I said that it would have been nice to get a phone call letting me know, since I had been waiting for three hours. He responded in a sarcastic way, saying, "Yeah, I guess he shoulda."
I hung up the phone frustrated and upset. Casey said that I should call back and let them know I was disappointed with their business and maybe get some sort of discount. I completely agreed and hung up the phone with him ready to give them a call.
My assertive paralysis set in right away. What do I say? How do I say it? How would I want someone to talk to me with the same complaint? How do I let them know I'm frustrated? How do get my point across without coming across as being a you-know-what? Is my argument valid? What could they say to me that would cancel out my complaint?
As a teacher, calling parents for negative reasons invokes the same paralysis. Most of the time, it works out fine and parents are very supportive, but sometimes it can turn into a heated conversation, where I end up putting out the flames with my submissive and nonconfrontational personality. Sometimes, it's just not worth an argument or a bad rapport with a parent, because then for sure we will go nowhere with their child.
This situation seemed like I should be able to make a valid point. I rehearsed what I was going to say (which is what I often do when I am going to call a parent) and dialed. The owner was unavailable at the time, but he called me back a few minutes later. I was friendly and asked him how we was doing. Then I let him know my disapointment with the service that we had been receiving from his company and explained my reasoning. I must have been so friendly, because he went into great detail about changing ownership and how the old manager is going through a brutal divorce, etc. Did I really need to know this information? This wasn't the direction that I needed to be going in. I'm letting him make up excuses for the way he is running his business (I felt those same emotions from making parent phone calls, many excuses...), but I needed to stand my ground. I told him that it must be a very difficult thing to go through a divorce, but his personal issues shouldn't be affecting the way he runs his business and into my home. I also let him know that I felt that paying full price would be agreeing to the service they provided. I told him I thought that after all issues we had, a discount would seem appropriate. He immediately became defensive because now we were talking money. Yet another set of hoops he would have to jump through and things he would have to review in order to give a discount.
To end all of this madness, I let him know that I was going to put a poor review on the internet, so when people are looking up his business, they will read about the things that happened to me. "Do what you need to do, I guess" is what he responded, in a very snarky way. Then I told him, that people should know about the experience I had, and as a business trying to maintain new customers, they need to re-evaluate the way they ran their company. He agreed, but I guess it was in a way to shut me up. We ended with him reviewing the issues that I had and talking it over with the other owner to decide if they can give a discount.
It's sitting funny. I felt like my arguments were valid, I wasn't mad about the price, just disappointed with the service and felt that paying full price didn't seem right. I know you are hearing it from my point of view, and in my mind it seems right, but why am I feeling so crappy? I don't like when people talk like that to me, and I know I'm hypersensitive, but should I have called? Do you think he is still thinking about it, too? Did he go home and tell his wife about the crazy woman who is practically harassing him at work? I told him about 3 times that I'm not the type of person that complains, but....
Have you ever had these same emotions? How do I get over it?
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