Sunday, December 13, 2009

My First Sorority: Baby Baby Baby

Look, I'm writing again! I just needed to give myself that pat on the back! Now that I can openly talk about the belly that I was once hiding like a celebrity, I feel like I have so much to say but I can't think of it all!

Life has been good. Creating life has not been so easy. From week 6 until week 11, I don't even know the person that I was. I was taken over by an alien. Seriously. I don't even know how I got through the day. Let's be honest, some days I didn't without a long nap and a good cry. Despite the fact that I could sleep on command, every type of food made my skin crawl and I constantly felt like throwing up, but awesomely enough, I couldn't do it! There I would sit with that feeling always sitting in my stomach every day and every night. Then I would wake up every once in a while feeling normal and get really scared that something was wrong and pray that I would feel like poo, so at least I knew I was still pregnant. I didn't even know if that was normal, but apparently it is.

Which leads me into my next thought. Pregnancy probably has not changed since the beginning of time: most women feel icky, some do not, some babies survive, sadly, others do not. However, since my mother gave birth to me, she had to rely on faith that her little baby was okay and that God was in charge, she just had to do her best staying healthy. She had no ultrasound, no Downs Syndrome tests or Trisomy tests, and she certainly did not have the latest edition of What to Expect When You're Expecting to check to make sure it was normal when changes were taking place.

However, one thing is for certain when someone new is having a baby: you are invited into a sorority of women who have shared the same experience.

I. Am. Profoundly. Lucky.

I am surrounded and supported by the most beautiful people, and it's really not limited to those who have had children, either. Before getting pregnant, I had heard stories of other women having all sorts of issues with unsolicited advice being given, jealousy amongst family members and friends, or scary stories of pregnancy.

I can say that none of that has been true. Despite the fact that I felt super icky, which was no one's fault, just normal hormonal changes, I have had the most positive pregnancy. To start, the grandmas couldn't be more excited. To feel like we are giving a gift to two women who do so much for me and Casey is a wonderful feeling. My sister-in-law Trena and I are a month apart with our due dates. One would think that there may be animosity and spotlight stealing (as read and heard about before), however, there couldn't have been more joy. We are a support system for each other and I rely on her to answer those weird questions for me.

During this time, I have found out that a few other close friends are due with babies around the same time. Too cool. Again, another group of women to talk and laugh about those funny things going on "down there."

I have wonderful friends that have had children and are another place that I find new advice, baby items, and maternity clothes (thank you, Jenny, Heather and Trena!). Even my friends with no babies are so excited and will do anything to help. My sister-in-law, Steph, loves to talk about all the parts of pregnancy and babies and I couldn't love her more for her excitement to be an auntie!

My mom certainly did not have the internet when she was having her babies. It seems like I can google anything and someone has felt it, questioned it or experienced it. One place that was surprisingly not-so-supportive, yet set up to be the ultimate source of support for pregnant women, was the Baby Center website. It was the site that was recommended to me by a few formerly pregger ladies. It is great for getting the week-by-week information and little newsletter posts about how to eat, why we need to brush our teeth, etc. Then one day I looked at the posts that people write or ask questions about their pregnancy or raising their children. Some comments and questions were the same things that I thought about, too. I didn't leave comments, but I would read other people's opinions. Today I decided to look at my next week's baby information and looked at the current postings that others left. I was horrified to read the entries and comments that these mothers left about any subject. Many were very confrontational and accusational in their tone. It was horrifying to read! I even read some of them to Casey, who just shook his head. Yikes!

I decided that I was too lucky of a girl to get myself wrapped up in that drama. One of the first pieces of advice that was given to me was to avoid stress and stay positive. You know my sensitivity issues, so that did not seem like a place for me to get involved. I would take the important information that the site gave me and call up the women in my life, who I knew would give me a loving and supportive answer to my question when I had one. Some answers a book or a website can't give me, sometimes I just need a good friend, a sister, or a mother to reassure me that everything will be okay and if it's not, they will still be there, too. I wouldn't call that place a support system, what I have is a support system...the most rock solid, loving, supportive system a girl could have. You all make me say, "Yay for babies!"

2 comments:

Jenny said...

Yay for blogs! I'm so glad you're back writing, Jeanine!

When it comes to pregnancy and parenting I say, if it feels right then it's right for you. Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!

2to4aday said...

Hurray! You're writing again!

Now you'll have to change your "profile" because you're not the same person doing the same thing any more. Your life has moved on in a brand new, wonderful direction.