An Intervention from Intervention

So, I have a new love. It's our DVR. The DVR is the recording device, similar to TiVo, that records TV shows when you are not able to be there to watch them live. This was a wonderful piece of technology during the school year. I thought I was missing many shows during the day and since I needed to be in bed by 9, I slept in peace knowing that the adult shows that come on during those prime TV hours was being digitally recorded. The Hills, Dirt, Real World Hollywood, you know all the REALLY important adult shows were now ready and waiting for me to view when I came home from work.

During the summer there has been a TV show that I just can't get enough of and I record it non-stop, even when I am watching it live. I had watched the program on A&E called "Intervention" just a couple of times the last couple of years, but now I've become a bit of an expert on the show.

Let me give you an synopsis of this show. A television crew follows around a person who has agreed to be in a documentary about their addiction. These people have had addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping or prescription pills. At the end of the show, the family and friends come together with an interventionist and ask the person to accept the gift of sobriety and go to rehabilitation to get better. At this point during the show, I am usually bawling as they accept this gift and can't wait to find out if they have remained sober after getting help. I'm truly disappointed when I find out that they have relapsed, but am overjoyed when they have seen the error of their ways and joined the rest of us as we soberly face the misery of real life.

After pressing "Stop" on the DVR remote, I turn to my poor husband who has patiently watched the entire show with me. I start on with my wonderful armchair psychobabble, because I've seen the show so many times, I've begun to think that I could do Jeff VanVonderan's job, even WITHOUT a pyschology degree. He, by the way, is the most popular interventionist the show uses with his no-nonsense approach to the person.

"Oh, you know that he turned to methamphetamines because of the childhood trauma he suffered from his abusive father. This is a very cyclical cycle he has put himself into--wait, was I being redundant? Anyway, having an addiction is a very selfish disease because everyone around you suffers while you are able to drown it in whatever vice you choose."

Blah, blah, blah...judge, judge, judge. I hardly notice when the channel is changed to ESPN Sports Center. The previous, "Whoa," was probably not for my insight on the enabler's role, but for the Twins win over the D'backs.

The problem is, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF INTERVENTION!!! I look furiously for the next episode to play, frustrated when I press the Info button, only to find out that it's one that I've already seen. "Come on! Whatever! This is crap! I need to watch this show, like right now!" Previously viewed shows will not put me on the same level of empathy as watching a brand new episode. I'm disappointed when the storyline isn't as strong as others that I have seen; it just doesn't get me fired up like usual---

Hey! It sounds like I might have an addiction to Intervention. Huh. What would rehab from a television show about rehab be like? Would we be doing yoga, eating healthy foods, and would someone have to listen to all my problems as I weep into a tissue? Would they ween me off of the show or would they take me off of TV altogether? I don't know if I would be able to accept that gift of sobriety and I would be certain to relapse, if not on "Intervention," then definitely on "What Not to Wear." I'm going to have to keep my recordings a secret from my husband who doesn't know how to use the DVR anyway and all talk of it must be kept to myself.

Excuse me while I browse the lineup of A&E for uh, er, a good Biography.