Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Mean Jeans

Trying to find a good pair of jeans is one of the hardest tasks that I have put myself through in the past few weeks. I don't know what it is about jeans and why it so hard to find a pair that does exactly what it is supposed to do.

The perfect pair of jeans for me needs to be dark, because Stacy and Clinton from "What Not to Wear" say frequently that dark denim camouflages a wide thigh and I definitely do not need my thighs to look any wider. They also need to have a straight leg, nothing flared and definitely no tapering which is very self-explanatory.

There can be no rhinestones or random buckles and chains. There should be no sign of glitter anywhere, although my second grade little girls make it look so cute!

They need to come up high enough so my "pencil holder" won't show when I bend over, but not too high to make the dreaded muffin top. They need to be long enough to skim over the tops of my shoes, but not too long where they drag on the floor. The pockets need to be normal and a classy stitched design is always welcomed.

They need to make my legs look long and my derriere look small, yet round. They need to go with every shirt in my closet, too.

They can't stretch out too much when I wear them 8 times in a row without a wash. And they need to bounce right back when I do finally break down and do it.

Is this too much to ask of a pair of jeans? The poor sales clerk at the Gap took out 12 pairs of jeans from my dressing room until I finally found a pair that met most of my needs. They were a little long, but following the advice of my dear TV friends, I took them in to my tailor and they are getting altered as I write this.

I wonder if I will ever find the PERFECT pair of jeans right from the rack. I don't wish for world peace; I wish for a lovely pair of jeans for all women to enjoy each time they put them on! Amen!

1 comment:

Stacy said...

I just found the perfect pair of jeans at the GAP, too. Did you get a pair from their new line? GAP is really starting to figure things out.