A New Set of Tea-th

At the end of December, I read an article in my Clean Eating magazine that recommended drinking tea to get extra antioxidants, etc. and in general be a way better person than I was currently being. Of course, I completely bought into this theory, this comes a week after I just got done bragging to the dental hygienist that I never smoke or drink coffee and very rarely would I dream of drinking tea or pop. Everyone in the office stopped what they were doing and all clapped for me and I stood up and took a bow for being so awesome. Or they just thought I was another Mormon. Either way, my dentist calls me one of his favorite patients. What a great set of teeth! he exclaims every time I open my mouth for him to admire.



After reading the article, I must have blanked out my conviction of "rare tea consumption" and wondered what I was missing out on. I could be a way healthier person if I drank tea--what does a dentist and a hygienist know anyway? The very next morning, I filled my electric tea kettle a little higher for the usual oatmeal and the rest into a giant mug with a bag of green pomegranate tea (it just sounds so healthy, doesn't it?). After the water temperature was low enough to not scald my tongue, I sipped this tea, already feeling more alive and excited for life.



I think this feeling was not so much health, but a shot of caffeine zipping through my system. Since I don't drink pop very often, caffeine will kick me right up a notch and I can't be stopped. I decided that I would start drinking tea every morning at school, because it would wake me up a little and I would have an amazing amount of pep--as if I needed any more.



That Monday we returned to school, I filled up my travel mug and headed down the highway to Casa Grande. I figured out that I couldn't drink the tea until I got to school, it stayed very hot in that mug for a long time! It was exciting to start on a new health adventure.

These are the side effects that occurred when I started drinking tea:

• My appetite was suppressed enough to last until 11:00 without starving (This usually started around 10:00--what can I say? I eat breakfast at 6!)


• I had to go the bathroom 3 times before 9:30.


• I had numerous stains on my jacket from constantly spilling walking from my car to school.


• My students were convinced that I was hiding something in that mug, because I was a lot more smiley.


• And to my deepest horror, I developed (even with the use of straws) brown stains in between the crevices of my front teeth that were pretty noticeable and I was pretty sure my teeth had a new tinge of yellow.

Here's the deal, my parents spent thousands of dollars to put braces on my teeth, replace a gazillion retainers accidentally thrown away, and fill cavities with the porcelain, not metal, fillings. I really try to hold up my end of the bargain by going to the dentist twice a year and brushing and flossing each day, and smiling the biggest smile in every picture. This seemed to be working out well, until I started my new habit.

My vanity got the best of me, and I decided that I could not drink tea anymore. It was not worth these so-called health benefits that I was clearly not feeling. So I quit, but my stains still remained. My smiles were not as smiley as they once were, I was feeling a tad more self-conscious about this little issue.

Yesterday, I had my 6-month teeth cleaning. I was so embarrassed to tell the hygienist about my problem and had to eat the words that I had proclaimed so adamantly to everyone six months prior. The hygienist happened to be very cool and went through and cleaned the heck out of my teeth. 30 minutes later, I was looking into the hand held mirror at perfectly white(ish) teeth with no stains! It was amazing! I gave her a hug and a promise to never to drink tea again! Again, everyone stopped what they were doing and clapped for me, I took my usual bow and exited the office stage right.