Saturday, June 6, 2009

Reader's Block

This is what I call my reading ailment. I have about a 20 or so books in my nightstand drawers, lined up on shelves, or tucked away in boxes. I'm about three quarters of the way through each one, then I either find another book that I want to read and start reading that or just decide that I don't want to finish the other book. It's quite a bizarre habit I have found myself in!

I don't know if it's because I don't want a book to end, I'm scared to find out what will happen to the protagonist in the story, or if it's just not that great of a story, but there is something that compells me to put the book down and walk away.

A perfect example of this is currently I have two books that I am reading. I was almost finished with The Bookseller of Kabul and decided to take a trip to the library. Knowing that I am almost done with this book, I decided to see if another book I was interested in reading was available to be checked out. This book, of course, is The Book Thief. Wouldn't you know, Sunset Public Library had two of them ready for me to choose from.

The "back-up" book on the nightstand.

I immediately kicked The Bookseller of Kabul to the side and started in on the new goods. My new book has over 500 pages and is roughly 2 1/2 inches thick. I have about 1/16 of an inch left of the book (or 20 pages) and immediately put it down. I just can't finish it. There is no other new book waiting in the wings. The Book Thief is an awesome story and I have stayed up until 1 in the morning 3 times this week to keep reading it. I have given myself reader's elbow (like tennis elbow, but a little smarter) and my eyes are a bit bloodshot from flashlight reading so I don't wake up Casey. I have learned so much from the characters, I have cried about 3 times, and now want to go visit Germany. But I don't want to finish the book. This would mean it's over. This beautiful book will end and I have no hope that I'll find another book just as good as this one.

I felt the same way with A Thousand Splendid Suns. I didn't want it to end, either. I was completely swept off my feet with the story, it was so despairing. I had roughly 20 pages left and didn't touch the book for 2 weeks until I could separate myself from the story and not have that feeling of anguish when it ended. Sometimes, during really good movies, when I'm weeping my eyes out, I have to remind myself that it's only a movie because I am empathizing way too much with the characters. I am a producer's dream!

This "hyper-sensitivity" is not always why I can't finish a book. Sometimes the book is just not that interesting. I read most of it and feel Yawn-fest 2009 coming on, so I chuck it to the side and say it will be my "can't fall asleep" book. I will only read it when I need to fall asleep fast. Three pages, (flash)lights out.

I really like The Bookseller of Kabul. It's an interesting story. I've learned a lot about the Afghani culture, but my empathy has turned into anger with how people in war torn countries must live and of course the way women are treated. I often shut the book because it's almost too much too handle. It was the same feeling I had with Three Cups of Tea. It was a hard read, but very empowering. I always need a book to read and if I finished these books, then what would I read? I'm like the very hungry catepillar, eating through everything! It's comforting to have these books waiting for me when I finish the others.

I do have an update to report! In the middle of writing this post, I made myself go finish The Book Thief. It was so good and my eyes hurt from crying. I knew that would happen! I kind of did it selfishly because tomorrow I want to go to the library and get a new one and again, chuck my "other book" to the side!

The finished book is ready to be returned!

3 comments:

2to4aday said...

Guess what, J-9! I was just driving in the car listening to MPR and Jane Hamilton (author of "Book of Ruth" and "A Map of the World" was on promoting her most recent book. Anyway, the MPR interviewer, a call-in listener, and Jane Hamilton ALL ADMITTED that they usually were reading three or four books at once! So now instead of feeling guilty about it, you can reassure yourself that all the smart, talented people are doing exactly the same thing.

Excuse me, I have to get going and read the first two chapters in three books I just checked out of the library. :)

Stacy said...

I have the same problem! We're not alone! Look at my GoodReads page. I am currently reading: The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, Three Cups of Tea, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, A New Earth, Walking with a Himalayan Master. And that is all I can think of right now?! I knew we were friends for a reason :)

j9 said...

Yay! We are book danglers! I finally finished The Bookseller of Kabul last night. It was a big relief to finish it! Thank you both for empathizing!