I Scream, You Scream and it isn't for Ice Cream

I may go nuts. Literally, I may have to check myself into the nearest mental health facility very soon. It's probably really quiet there. They will probably have drugs stronger than Tylenol that will make me very sleepy and I will take them without reservation. I will be their best patient as I tell the psychiatrist EVERYTHING from my extremely uneventful childhood to what brought me to my current state. Screaming.

Why does my baby scream? When I gave birth (a different story all together), Tommy came out with one eye open, like he was winking at me. It was like he knew. He didn't cry and it made the delivery nurses a little nervous. There was a little whimpering, but after a close examination, he checked out as a very healthy baby boy.

"Oh, you are so lucky he doesn't cry that much! I hope this is a sign of what's to come!" one nurse exclaimed as he lay contently in my arms.

And he didn't really cry that much the first week we brought him home. We even went to church that first week--to church! Tommy really was the perfect baby. I praised the heavens for this good karma, I knew opening doors for people and always returning my cart to the cart corral was going to pay off. Here it was, my perfect baby.

He's still perfect, buuuuuut, there are a few minor adjustments I would suggest if he could understand me. After a couple of weeks, we had ourselves a squealer. Is that even a word? I don't know, but his ear piercing screeches can sometimes only be heard by the barking dogs next door. We would cringe after feeding him, not knowing what to expect after dispensing liquids down his throat. Will he burp and go to sleep? Will he cry inconsolably? Will he just plain scream?

It was usually the last one. As new parents, we will do ANYTHING to make the crying/screaming/screeching stop. We gave each other tips on how to possibly tame the beast. I suggested to Casey to hold him at a 45 degree angle not quite directly under the fan, but more at a three o'clock stance and to put his pinkie into the hole of the pacifier and gently bounce, but not too aggressively because one time it worked for me. Later on that evening, or maybe it was early the next morning, when Tommy was testing out his pipes again, Casey recommended that I hold him like Simba from the "Lion King" and move him in a swooshing motion, while saying "heeeeeeey" in a really deep voice.

We were desperate for him to stop screaming. I called the pediatrician and I think they just humored me and gave him a prescription for heartburn and said to put a little rice cereal in his breast milk. It was awesome the first day. He was actually pleasant to be around and we played in his Boppy. Then he stopped pooping. Besides our world revolving around his screaming, it is also very much affected by his poop. Which there was none. For three days. After reading the information packet, it turned out constipation was a side effect of the medicine and the rice cereal. We asked ourselves what's worse--a screaming baby with heartburn or a screaming baby with painful constipation? We loaded Tommy back up again to the pediatrician to get an expert answer and she recommended to stop the rice cereal and continue the medication. Righty-o, we obediently responded.

I wish I could say that it's been smooth sailing ever since. I am a stay-at-home mom that literally stays at home. We can't leave the house. Tommy has taken it upon himself to scream everywhere and anywhere that does not have a My Little Lamb Cradle 'n Swing. No shopping trips to the grocery store or Target--he screams. No quick errands to the post office--straight up screaming. No indoor walking track--cry/scream combo. No visiting homes that don't have his swing--you guessed it. As of now, we have three locations where minimal screaming takes place: our house, his Uncle Ryan and Aunt Trena's house (only because they have all the luxuries of home plus more), and the pediatrician's office. I am dreading a playdate I agreed to this Friday where we are going to walk at the mall and have lunch...ha! In my dreams this will have a pleasant ending!


It's difficult to feel happy when the walls of your little house feel like they are closing in at a rapid pace. I have had so many suggestions and advice given to me which I graciously accept, but until experiencing the screaming first-hand, it's difficult to understand the magnitude of it all. I can mostly read his screams and when we are at home, I can tend to the scream immediately. While in the grocery store, my resources are limited and my arm count is still only at two, which makes it almost impossible to hold him and push the cart...trust me, I've tried!

I want to enjoy him when he is so little, as everyone has also told me to do, but how do you enjoy a screaming baby? I feel more like I'm doing damage control and praying that he will just go to sleep, so then at least he won't scream. I get angry with Casey for being even 15 minutes late. I am losing my mind a little bit and wondering if I really was ready for all of this. How come other mom bloggers have really awesome kids that only sometimes act up and always pose perfectly for pictures? Where is my "mom gene" hiding that I can't lovingly and patiently accept my healthy baby with a screaming problem? I think it's lodged in some of this belly fat I'm still trying to lose.